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I had evolved — I was about 37 when I had my first child. But I do wonder if it had more to do with guy I was with. He was a psychopath, and still is.

I eventually left my second husband. You really need to do something for yourself. They gave me a full free ride.

I was 57 at the time. I studied everything — being in school really grounded me. I realized what it really is that I have always loved doing, and what I truly want to do, which is write.

I graduated with degrees in evolutionary biology and writing fiction. It was the happiest and proudest day of my life. I was pleased as punch.

I get a feeling like I have a halo of light flashing around my head. Every single neuron is in sync. It is just dazzling. I love that more than anything in the world.

I had a very attractive man sleep here a few years ago; he had been a professor of mine. One of my friends asked if I was going to approach him in the middle of the night.

And you know what I said in response to my friend? My idea of great sex nowadays is lying on the bed next to him, with his arm around me, as he reads to me.

I grew up in Brooklyn, New York. My parents never gave me a sex talk — they divorced when I was seven years old. My mother was single and dating other men, doing her thing.

At 21, we moved out together and shared an apartment. We just had the most fabulous time. Then she got married when she was 26, and my heart broke.

To be cut off from my sister was very difficult for me, but it was a good opportunity to go out and do something on my own. I loved being single.

So, yes, I thought about getting married and having children. At first, I wanted someone to take care of me — it was what everyone was doing in those days!

You could go out, you could meet men. You could sleep with men! There was a point in my life where I was dating a lot of different men, and that was great.

But as I grew up, I decided that I wanted just one person. It had to be someone whom I cared about a lot. Growing up, I felt like a lot of my friends were having sex with men just because they wanted somebody to be with.

Somebody to stay with them. And that was never important to me. Everything changed for me! I got married 12 years after my sister did — at 38 years old.

I wanted a partner in life. I used to see women with men, and the men were so obnoxious. Any man who is clingy and all over me, I have a real problem with.

He is very interesting; we have a great relationship. He does his own thing, and I do mine. We had major issues because our families are different ethnicities and practice different religions.

But ultimately, we decided to elope. So she came, too. For me, the only way that I can feel pleasure in a sexual relationship is to be with someone whom I really care about.

Who else can give you pleasure? Can you experience different pleasure with different sexual partners? But it still has to be somebody that I care about.

The attitude around sex has changed so much since I was younger. It makes a difference. Sex is very emotional. What if you have sex with someone and afterwards they never talk to you again?

It happens a lot! You have to be ready to understand that. Miami Beach was only 30 years old. I was raised in a home that celebrated pleasure.

The pleasure of daily life was emphasized. It was important to celebrate each meal. Nothing was done with haste, just to get through the day.

Meals were always a special time full with pleasure — the pleasure of the food, the pleasure of the taste. In fact, meals were seductive.

It was full of pleasure! The pleasure of the sun and the salt. It was not lost on my parents. They knew the seasons.

They knew when you could smell the fertile earth! Everything was celebrated. Sex and pleasure were never connected in my life. I felt like pleasure was everywhere all the time, but sex was a very specific act.

Pleasure, on the other hand, was a lubricant. Shannon Bradley-Colleary, 50 -- "I just say 'yes' more. I also felt I should've been better at orgasms.

And thank you. Barbara Rabin, 67 -- "I'm so much stronger now. And strength is sexy. It's being comfortable in your own skin. It's looking in the mirror and liking what I see.

Someone once told me that older women can't have long hair. And most women don't at my age. But I like long and flowing hair and, to me, it's sexy.

You must have a feeling that says 'I like what I see and I'm doing great. Now I've lost my husband and had cancer.

I'm so much stronger now. Pamela Madsen, 52 -- "Sexuality has become my friend. I was scared to be seen. Now that I am in my 50s, I dare you not to look!

I'm not frightened of being seen as sexy anymore, because sexy has gone from fear to empowerment and delight! In my 50s I trust my own 'yes' and my own 'no.

Sandra LaMorgese, 59 -- "I can now focus on what makes me feel happy. I had a clear idea of what a sexy woman would do, say, look, and feel, and I spent so much of my energy trying to project that image to others.

But now, in my 50s, I have a whole different perspective; namely, I don't feel like I need to act likable and sexy and desirable and free because I know that I already am all of those things.

Romantic and sexual partners come and go. It's just how life works. What stays constant, though, is me, which means that my sexuality, my identity, and my sense of self-worth and belonging need to come from inside me first.

Realizing this allowed me to let go of so much anxiety about my sexuality because I no longer needed to worry about all the unknown variables that other people brought into the equation.

Instead, I can now focus on what makes me feel happy, whole, and loving, and when I find other people who are attracted to these positive qualities, it leads to really fun and life-affirming experiences.

April Johnson, 58 -- "Being sexy now in my 50s is a feeling. Being caring, loving, good, considerate. These things create an attraction which makes your inner beauty show as outer beauty.

In my 20s, being sexy was dressing a certain way to attract the opposite sex and was about what I thought they thought was sexy.

Being sexy now in my 50s is a feeling I make the clothes. Me feeling sexy is to please me and make me happy. Happiness rubs off on others!

What a great way to spread happiness in the world! Robin Hoffman, 50 -- "Bodies are beautiful, but what's glowing within is so much more.

To me, sexy at 50 is peeling those shades back and blasting the light we all have. Felicia Gomes-Gregory, 50 -- "Today at 50, sexy is about my nurturing my inner beauty.

I was always taught that you could be a lady and 'sexy' with your clothes on. Constance Boardman, 57 -- "Feeling sexy now is a lot less about your body.

All those silly things you worried about when you were young -- things related to looks -- are indeed just silly.

For awhile there, in my early 50s, it was hard for me to feel sexy. The changes in your body hit you all of a sudden.

But now I know that sex is actually fun and that you shouldn't worry about all the minutiae of what you look like. It has been an adjustment to be OK with the fact that my body may never be the same as it used to be.

But I'm sort of over all that now. For more images from the photo shoots click through our gallery of outtakes! Calling all HuffPost superfans!

Sexy Old Lady Video

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A few are grandmothers. A few are single and a few are married. But what they all have in common is that not one is a shrinking violet.

They feel better about themselves today than they ever have. We asked each woman to wear whatever makes them feel sexy, and to talk about what being sexy means to them now compared to when they were, say, US Edition U.

Coronavirus News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Newsletters Coupons. Terms Privacy Policy. All rights reserved. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

Sheryl Roberts, 48 -- "I know I am perfectly imperfect, flaws and all. I had no identity. I wore whatever was trendy, did what other girls my age did and really tried to be well liked.

I had no concept of my own power or sexuality. Other people's perception is not my reality. I don't want to blend and fit in.

That is why I love selling vintage through my business IndigoStyle Vintage. It is the ultimate in personal style and expression.

Sexiness exudes from my confidence, smile and acceptance of myself. Not being fearful of exploring, I know I am perfectly imperfect, flaws and all.

Anne Rosenberg, 59 "For me now, sexy is alluring and creative. I was focused on academics and the rest of my time was filled with riding my horse and doing barn work.

My standard attire was a flannel shirt, overalls and boots. It seemed as though sexuality was for others. I was sort of a 'neuter' and whatever feelings burned deep within had to stay there.

For me now, sexy is alluring and creative. It is amazing. Mary Ann Holand, 58 -- "No one but me dictates my sexiness. After turning 50 I felt much sexier than I did in my 20s.

That's a lot of pressure! With maturity comes confidence and the knowledge that our brain is our sexiest organ, not our body! No one but me dictates my sexiness.

The journey in getting here shaped how I feel. I am a wife, mother, grandmother and breast cancer survivor including a mastectomy.

This self-awareness of being sexy in my 50s is a gift and one I will cherish in every decade going forward! Wheeeeee -- I'm free to be me!!!

Shannon Bradley-Colleary, 50 -- "I just say 'yes' more. I also felt I should've been better at orgasms. And thank you. Barbara Rabin, 67 -- "I'm so much stronger now.

And strength is sexy. It's being comfortable in your own skin. It's looking in the mirror and liking what I see. Someone once told me that older women can't have long hair.

And most women don't at my age. But I like long and flowing hair and, to me, it's sexy. We got back together years later to figure out if it was meant to be.

Something has come up. And we decided that we were not, after all, meant to be. When I was younger, sex was fun. And I was lucky — I came of age after the arrival of the pill and before the arrival of AIDs — so we had a lot of time to really screw our brains out.

We did! We slept with everybody. Just everybody. It was something that we could do all the time and we had great drugs that enhanced it.

We had a lot of fun. And then it just came to a stop. Life really stopped being fun. And I became a drug dealer.

It was a good way to make money! I ended up getting busted a year later for what was, at the time, the biggest federal bust for LSD.

There was this big conspiracy trial. I had been living with my friend from high school, Bryce. He went down to see Bryce, who was also in jail, and paid his bail with the understanding that he would marry me.

Now, nobody told me about this. I got two years of probation, and Bryce went to jail on weekends for two years.

I have since come to realize how lust, love and pleasure work. A lot of this stuff only exists for the species to reproduce, and it only lasts long enough for that to happen.

It fades, and it fades fast, in my opinion. We lived in a human filing cabinet. I was doing any type of clerical position that people would hire me for.

I had absolutely zero self esteem. I was never in love with Bryce. I met someone else while I was still married to him.

Dumped him in about 24 hours and moved in with the new guy. Philip, the second guy, had awakened my desire to have children.

I guess it was in the process of trying to have children, and having a hard time in doing so, that sex became more necessary in accomplishing a goal than something that I was really enjoying.

I had evolved — I was about 37 when I had my first child. But I do wonder if it had more to do with guy I was with. He was a psychopath, and still is.

I eventually left my second husband. You really need to do something for yourself. They gave me a full free ride. I was 57 at the time. I studied everything — being in school really grounded me.

I realized what it really is that I have always loved doing, and what I truly want to do, which is write. I graduated with degrees in evolutionary biology and writing fiction.

It was the happiest and proudest day of my life. I was pleased as punch. I get a feeling like I have a halo of light flashing around my head. Every single neuron is in sync.

It is just dazzling. I love that more than anything in the world. I had a very attractive man sleep here a few years ago; he had been a professor of mine.

One of my friends asked if I was going to approach him in the middle of the night. And you know what I said in response to my friend?

My idea of great sex nowadays is lying on the bed next to him, with his arm around me, as he reads to me.

I grew up in Brooklyn, New York. My parents never gave me a sex talk — they divorced when I was seven years old. My mother was single and dating other men, doing her thing.

At 21, we moved out together and shared an apartment. We just had the most fabulous time. Then she got married when she was 26, and my heart broke.

To be cut off from my sister was very difficult for me, but it was a good opportunity to go out and do something on my own.

I loved being single. So, yes, I thought about getting married and having children. At first, I wanted someone to take care of me — it was what everyone was doing in those days!

You could go out, you could meet men. You could sleep with men! There was a point in my life where I was dating a lot of different men, and that was great.

But as I grew up, I decided that I wanted just one person. It had to be someone whom I cared about a lot. Growing up, I felt like a lot of my friends were having sex with men just because they wanted somebody to be with.

Somebody to stay with them. And that was never important to me. Everything changed for me! I got married 12 years after my sister did — at 38 years old.

I wanted a partner in life. I used to see women with men, and the men were so obnoxious. Any man who is clingy and all over me, I have a real problem with.

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2 comments

  1. Jetzt kann ich an der Diskussion nicht teilnehmen - es gibt keine freie Zeit. Sehr werde ich bald die Meinung unbedingt aussprechen.

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